I read this and it really is a sad story!, Although its not my place I feel like I should tell you that your mom probley would like you to be happy!, That she is there every step of the way. Although you cant bring her back, What you can do is live your life to the best of your ability she will be watching!. Not that I am christian or anything I just look at the beauty in your work, What you have to say although I dont know you or your mother I thought id just offer something you have prob heard so im sorry if I made matters worse but for what it counts im here if you need someone to talk to!, Although a stranger saying that does sound a bit wierd haha!.

It's f**ked up. As you say no matter how much wishing you do nothing can bring her back unfortunately but try not to dwell on what you don't have, dwell on what you did. Some ppls never remember their moms if they die when the child is young, you at least knew yours mefinks.

I'm sorry english not my strong point. What I mean is at least you remember her and by the sound you obviously loved her so keep her alive in your thoughts. Never forget what you had.

Sorry you don't know me but I feel bad, I know what you're meaning