...wondering when i will ever feel like im normal and be content with the way i think and who i am ...when will i ever feel like ive found my place in the puzzle? sad lil creature wondering alone pretending like i know who i am but im guessing as i go trying on shoes pair by pair to see which one FITS ME, why am i stuck in this rut? everyone keeps moving forward while i stay seated in the back thinking to myself how do i get out of here?...

...i want someone to chase me i dont want to be left behind and forgoten or replaced. thank you ****** *. for breaking me and ruining me ever having a chance to open up to another guy , thank you for choosing drugs over me and lying straight to my face about shit you were doing....i hope your happy alone...

...for a split second you knew how i felt we were at the same place in life and know why i was the way i was and acting the way i was, you knew how i felt and how you just ignored what i was going through you just ignored it, i needed you the most at that moment and you just ignored it, i hope your drugs keep you warm at nght and keep you company when your all alone, i hate your gutts for walking away from me and making me feel like i did something wrong, for using me filling my head with lies,but as much as i hate you i will always love you,and have a place in my heart for you and will always miss everything about you, they way you kissed me ,held me,way you smell,the way you looked at me, i will always love you but wanted you to know that...

... no matter how long its been i can never seem to stop thinking about you or get over you, why cant i just forget...





... holiday season sux once again i wish a guy would make it better .. even if he fakes it just to make the holidays better cuz ive spent every single one alone. :/

basically shit city for me fuckin alone ... not to mention i keep losing friends to stupid drugs they keep falling away and dropping like flies fuckin shame its like i want to just hug them and make them see that nothing is worth bull shit like that but i cant help them if they dont want to help themselves :'[ i feel so helpless ...

... im a sad little creature...

i want my mommy... sep 30 is the year anniversary of my mothers death, havent had dreams in a year and all of a sudden im getting nightmares about her and getting panic attacks ... i just want my mom back and no matter how much crying i do or wishing on shooting stars will bring her back and i know it wont, its like being like a little kid and knowing you cant have a toy, no matter how much you cry you wont ever get what you want... the shit that ive seen fucked me up and i just want to dissapear...

[link] 65z7yagv59cbQGzHJUFUW3bpf79SLQ==d=MzE4NTQxMTheMTIxMDY4NjY4NQ==

so today my life has ended .... i went into the bathroom to take a shower and on the counter nowhere near the sink was my ipod and i looked at the screen and it said a firewall and i was like what the eff... so i picked my ipod up not even knowing it was in a still pool of freakin water omg i cried and cried that is the only thing that i own that means the world to me :[ .. come to find out my brother washed his hair in the sink and flooded the shit out of my bathroom :[

-brittany